Big Ten Preview

Every week (as long as I can remember to do it), I'll have a roundup of all the Big Ten games. Some weeks will be better than others. This is one of the "others."


Illinois St. vs. Illinois
6pm Big Ten Network (Ari Wolfe, Tony McGee, Sarah Spain)
Memorial Stadium

Illinois looked terrible last Saturday. How terrible? Their greatest living player called out the effort of the team and said he had to turn the game off. If I were Zook, I’d be watching over my shoulder when unlocking my car for Dick Butkus. Fortunately, the 1-AA Redbirds are visiting right in time to be a sacrificial lamb. The Redbirds do have a WSR-coached player in RS-Fr OL Cory Christianson, but he probably won’t play unless the game is a total debacle (which it could very well be since…ZOOOOK!)

Western Michigan vs. Indiana
11am Big Ten Network (Matt Devlin, Anthony Herron, Larra Overton)
Memorial Stadium

Western Michigan has to be a terrible team. They got slaughtered by Michigan last weekend. But Indiana is terrible-er. Do yourself a favor, America: don’t look directly at the “football.”

Iowa vs. Iowa St.
11am FSN (Joel Meyers, Dave Lapham, Jim Knox)
Jack Trice Stadium

Both teams played D1-AA powers last week. One team dominated their opponents 34-17, the other needed TWO blocked FGs in the last :10 to win at home. Somehow, Iowa decided to wake up in the last 4 minutes of the game, but it wasn’t pretty for a while before that. Don’t that fool you, though: this one is already over, Ferentz just needs to decide how much he wants to win by.

Notre Dame vs. Michigan
2:30pm ABC (Sean McDonough, Matt 0-16 Millen, Holly Rowe)
Michigan Stadium

I try to hold back on my biases, but there are some teams I can’t be nice to. That being said, fuck Michigan. I don’t like Charlie Weis, but I want the Irish to put 70 on Michigan, along with a big old doughnut on the scoreboard for the skunk helmets.

Central Michigan vs. Michigan St.
11am ESPN2 Pam Ward, Ray Bentley
Spartan Stadium

This game has one of the best defenses in the Big Ten trying to catch LeFevour. That should be enough to entice you to watch. Unfortunately, it also has Ray Bentley and Pam Ward, which should be enough to entice you to throw a brick at your TV.

Air Force vs. Minnesota
6pm Big Ten Network (Wayne Larrivee, Chris Martin, Charissa Thompson)
TCF Bank Stadium

There’s nothing important about this game at all. I don’t even think it’s worth discussing here. Well, there is one important thing: will I be able to replace the Receiveress with Charissa Thompson? We’ll find out Saturday.

Eastern Michgan vs. Northwestern
11am Big Ten Network (Matt Rosen, Mark Campbell, Rebecca Haarlow)
Ryan Field

Northwestern is my sneaky team to win the Big Ten. With a homefield advantage like they had last week for the battle with Towson (17,857), they should be able to intimidate everyone. It’s a good thing they’ve got a better football team then they do fan support, because otherwise they’d be next to Indiana in the standings.

Southern Cal vs. Ohio St.
7pm ESPN (Brent Musburger, Kirk Herbstreit, Lisa Salters)
Ohio Stadium

I don’t need to cover this one. Everyone else is doing it better, including BHGP and EDSBS. Just watch it.

Syracuse vs. Penn St.
11am Big Ten Network (Craig Coshun, Glen Mason, Kenny Jackson)
Beaver Stadium

Last week, Greg Paulus earned praise from writers assigned to cover sports with his poise, and nearly knocked off a magnanimous Minnesota team that didn’t want to ruin his return to football after a 5-year layoff. PSU is also going to make sure he’s ready for football by offering a comprehensive rectal exam.

Purdue vs. Oregon
9:15 FSN (Barry Tompkins, Petros Papadakis, Michael Eaves)
Autzen Stadium

I don’t really know what to think about this game. It’s late, I’ll be at a bachelor party after the Gopher game, and to be honest, Oregon’s offense has lost some of it’s punch.

Fresno St. vs. Wisconsin
11am ESPN (Dave Pasch, Bob Griese, Chris Spielman)
Camp Randall Stadium

Fresno St. is 1-1 all-time at Camp Randall, winning by 12 in 2001 and losing by 2 in 2002. They aren’t the same giant-slaying program they were back then, but Wisconsin isn’t the same program anymore, either.